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| She doesn't sweat when she "trains." |
1. Meathead- Number 1 on the list on classic gym figures is the ever present Meathead. Usually a Meathead is a male. He is built like a lightbulb. His only focus in the gym is how to make his chest and biceps bigger and more massive. If you want to see a man do every chest and bicep move at every workout, then watch the Meathead train. It is a tragic spectacle. The bad part is he doesn't even train hard...just enough to get a pump for those "guns." I have seen this man at every gym I have ever gone to. Attire is a sleeveless shirt to show off his big (but unsculpted) arms and a pair on pants to hide his small (and very teenage like) legs. Only he has the ability and ignorance to train the same muscle groups 3x-4x per week for 52 weeks per year.
2. Cardio Woman X- She populates every commercial gym in America. The sad fact is that most women train in this manner. CMX walks in and goes right to the treadmill. She starts off walking at 2.5mph...STRIKE 1. After doing this mindlessly for 10 minutes, she ramps up to blazing 3.5mph to start jogging...STRIKE 2. After not being able to maintain a jog for more than 5 minutes, she returns to the original speed...STRIKE 3. Though she is not seeing any progress, CMX will continue to use the treadmill 3x-6x per week. She will also participate in "fitness classes" since only doing cardio will make your body curvier and shapelier. Has anyone ever seen someone in great shape on treadmill?
3. Former Athlete Man X- He used run a 4.3 second 40 yard dash. She used to be All-State in Basketball. He was once compared to a young Deion Sanders...The problem here is that these fabricated stories never happened. And if they did, it was 10-20 years ago and have been altered dramtically! The former athlete apparently can tell any gym member how to get faster, stronger, and leaner. However when I ask the former athlete to train with me, he cannot...he does not want flare up that knee "injury." She has a bad back that prevents her from doing anything remotely athletic. These so-called athletes are excellent at exercising their mouth.
4. Gym Kardashian- The men love her. The women hate her. She populates all commercial and upscale gyms. You can smell her from 50 yards away. It is her $150 perfume. Her hair and makeup is done professionally to come and train. She is wearing the most expensive training gear. Her body is decent because Gym Kardashian is usually young. Everything seems great until she actually begins to train...her workout resembles Cardio Woman X's treadmill routine...except it is shorter and even less intense. The second sweat even thinks of producing, Gym Kardashian's day is over...she heads to the shower for an hour and leaves the gym looking the same way she did when she arrived doused in perfume. The act can last until she turns about 25 and her body starts to hold on to all of the lousy food she eats and alcohol she drinks.
5. Super Trainer- The most blasphemous of the group, he/she makes up 95% of personal trainers in America. This "trainer" has many gadgets and gimmicks to hide the fact that they know ZERO about fitness themselves. His/her "certification" was achieved in a 2 hour company "fitness fundamentals" class. They do not look fit, but a company shirt hides them. They try to have a client do something that is RIDICULOUS! BOSU balls are one their main tools. Meanwhile you will never see these "trainers" coach their clients through a Squat, Deadlift, Clean, or any other compound move that actually gets you into great shape. If you have a "trainer" ask them a something for me...ask them to put you through a barbell conditioning complex...ask them to develop you a nutrition plan for losing bodyfat. When they respond puzzled and suggest more BOSU Squat Curls, tear up your contract and come train with Fitman.
These 5 classic staples of the gym will always be around. If you are one of them, it is never too late to change. However staying on the path of being a Meathead or Gym Kardashian leads to fitness oblivion. Train outside the box.
LOL! So true Fitman...So true.
ReplyDeleteIt is a shame that these characters exist, but the bigger tragedy is that these fraudulent individuals often have the admiration of the unsuspecting public.
A word to any of these gym characters that are reading this...You too can be saved. Anyone can be saved.
Brutal but true, you have told the hard facts about the fitness centers and Gyms.
ReplyDeleteI've never met a gym kardshian it seems like it wouldn't work haha. Who wears perfume to the gym?
ReplyDelete6. The douche bag trainer. The guy makes every client do the same complex movements and follow some BS regime till they get so bored they quit. Then said trainer works out like a ignorant asshole screaming and playing music with no respect for other patrons. After all his work he looks no different then some skinny guy on the street who has never worked out a day in his life. To feel better about himself he wears womens Under Armour tights to show off his pre-teenage body and goofy beard.
ReplyDeleteWow, "fitman84." A lot of unnecessary hate and lies coming from you to me...For what reason who knows? Maybe you are on the list and became offended...I really do not know.
ReplyDeleteWow this FITMAN84 is on here trying to blast!?! LOL
ReplyDeleteLet's add yet another character to the list.
7. The Internet Coward. The guy relishes the anonymity of the internet as it allows him to say things that he would not dare to whisper in the presence of a real man.
* To Fitman84, you are clearly misinformed if you think that our PT clients are receiving "the same complex movements" because of a lack of knowledge or programming. IN REALITY, they are doing many of the same movements because these are BASIC/FUNDAMENTAL movements that must be coached - Other trainers avoid coaching these moves as they are NOT FLASHY.
If people quit, it may be from boredom...or they might just realize that they don't want to put in the effort in the gym or the kitchen.
And last but not least, the claim that FITMAN looks "no different then some skinny guy on the street" CONFIRMS that you are an idiot.
This blog is for discussion, information, entertainment, or even heated debate - not for hateful rants.
If you aren't a coward, tell us who you are so we can see how you stack up next to Fitman's "pre-teenage body".
I mind my own business when I am at the gym, but sometimes when I take my rest break I look around what I see is hilarious. I thought this would be fun to post the other "gym characters":
ReplyDelete"Know-It-All Guy": Goes around and tell other people they need to do different and gives advice (mostly incorrect), trying to look important and smart.
"Yeller": Grunts and yells at the top of his lungs doing a set, (such as 115 squat) that clearly doesn't call for any noise.
"Shadow": Follows you around the gym and gets into the machine right next to you or right across from/facing you. Hoping you'll speak to him\her.
"Keep fit and have fun," Body break!! -Hal Johnson and Joanne Mccloud
ReplyDelete