Top 5 Classic Bad Gym Characters Part 2

Can she make the list twice?  In this "gym" attire she might!

Let me let my hair down again for a moment and let us have some more fun.  Last year, I released the original list of the Top 5 Classic Bad Gym Characters.  Since then a lot has
happened.  President Obama was re-elected.  Felix Baumgartner jumped from Space back into the Earth.  Lebron finally got a ring.  And my Philadelphia Eagles are imploding as we speak!  I also have surprisingly (not really) encountered more bad characters in the gym!  Without further ado here we go:

1)  Class Woman X-  EVERYONE in the facility knows their local CWX.  She is the member who has did every single class about 10,000 times and counting.  She knows the Zumba teachers family history.  She has her own bike in Spin class and it is has custom colors.  She could even be employed by the gym as a spokesperson for the entire selection of classes.  Now CWX is typically a very nice person too.  So you ask, "Well Fitman, what is the issue with CWX?"  Well my problem is that CWX has performed the same classes at the same intensity with same routine for the last 5 years.  CWX has not seen progress in 4.7 years.  CWX swears the classes work because she is sweating.  Let me break it down though...you can sweat in a black Chevy Cavalier coupe in the middle of August (Trust me I have) and sweat profusely!  It does not constitute training in any shape or fashion.  Asinine.

2)  Fake Hustlers-  Fake hustlers are always males.  These males typically fall under the category of Meathead.  The difference is though that fake hustlers have an even bigger ego and need to impress than the Meathead.  You see these cats need their ego stroked to the maximum all the time.  In some cases they are surrounded by their minions in the gym.    When fake hustlers see real lifters doing true movements like Deadlift, Squat, etc, they feel a need to perform the movement too.  The bad part is that they have performed the movement 2 times within the last year.  The rep normally looks beyond ugly as the fake hustler throws proper form out the window for the sake of trying to move the weight and impress the crowd and reaffirm to himself that he is the don.  Fake hustlers only performs these movements when they feel they losing their status as "king of the local dango gym."  Ridiculous.

This man is pure fake hustle...you are not ready for this sir.

3)  False Prophets-  False prophets are more despicable than Super Trainers.  These characters are filled with a lot of pride and a HELL of a lot of horse manure.  These charlatans usually are horrific "trainers" and begin to spew many unfounded theories to clients who have questions.  Unfortunately, the false prophets have zero answers.  Anytime you hear someone talking about super low calorie diets schemes or promoting horrendous gimmick devices and illogical movements you can be sure you are talking to a false prophet.  Anytime your "trainer" cannot design you a nutrition plan or training plan based on YOUR needs, you are talking to a false prophet.  ANYTIME your "trainer" just blatantly takes credit for ideas he/she did not create, you are talking to a false prophet.  This jabroni also typically looks out of shape and cannot finish a basic dynamic warm up, which makes the situation even worse.  Supplement and fitness equipment companies are also notorious for being false prophets on a large scale.   Blasphemous.

So...are we to believe that this man developed this physique from this amazing gadget? 

4)  Gimmick Man X-  Ah, the infamous gimmick man.  When I think back to my track days and early PT days, I had some GMX in me.  Arm sleeves like AI.  Headbands like LeBron.  High mismatched socks.  Elaborate color schemes.  I was in great shape, but to a bystander I looked either ridiculous or EXTREMELY ridiculous!  Now, GMX is the trendiest person in the gym.  He/She is always doing the latest workout or wearing the latest gear.  Whatever trend is popular (right now, those sock sneakers and Zumba, ugh) GMX is on it.  There is just one major problem though.  GMX for all his/her gimmicks is in woeful shape.  The gear does not match the fitness level.  False advertising.

Look at that stone cold clown at the end...sleeves, arm bands, headband, high mismatched socks...WHO does that?  (Besides the great Allen Iverson who has the game to justify it!)

5) C.H.A.R.M.S-  These men are truest Meatheads ever!  They have 1 workout 4x per week and it only involves chest and arms (specifically biceps).  Legs?  Back?  Conditioning?  Those are foreign words to the C.H.A.R.M.  His focus is a massive upper body at any cost.  These men are known to take pro-hormones and the tonic to speed up the process.  The typical C.H.A.R.M can bench 315 BUT cannot perform a full squat to the bucket with 185.  It is truly unconstitutional.  Massive upper body + Pipe Legs= Delusional Man.

More Squat, less everything else!

So there it is.  5 more characters who you can spot in any commercial gym in America.  Remember to avoid being one these characters you need to train hard, train with passion, and train with a plan.  Failing to plan is planning to fail.